Closer

Sometimes it feels like I will forever be writing this novel.

For three years, I have hounded at it and still, I am so far from my goal – my vision. And I know I can make it much better if I only keep on working and working and working.

When will the working end?

But I know I am improving.

It’s not the delusion of a desperate ego.

I know I have a long way to go before my writing is anything close to my vision. But I can see the improvement. I can see progress when I compare drafts. I can read over my paragraphs and pull out jokes and romance and little pieces of description and feel the inkling of a dream coming to life. Imagine, perhaps, my goal is 100. With every draft, I move one number closer to my goal. It’s slow going but it’s going all the same.

Getting better. I used to be quite a tennis fanatic and the number one piece of advice I read would have to be this: make your goal “get better”. Don’t vow to win matches. Don’t promise too many hours that you may not be able to get in. But aim always for better.

I do feel frustration and the going does get tough. But every word I write brings me one step – it’s little but it’s something! – closer to my goal. And that gives me hope.